#Suicideonthebrain
#Suicide on the Brain
Last week, a
group of individuals from The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention donned
their blue shirts and went to Good Morning America with the hopes of raising
awareness of suicide prevention. They
were not rowdy, they were not offensive, but in spite of this, they were asked
to leave by a producer because they were told people don’t want suicide on the
brain first thing in the morning. I have not been able to shake this feeling of
discontent since I heard about this. I’ve sat at my computer and tried to
convey how hurtful this act was to those living with loss and/or struggle
because of suicide. But, as it always does, my hurt came out in anger and I did
not like the tone of my own voice. I did
not want to attack Good Morning America for what they did, but rather explain
in a rational way why this simple act of preserving ratings was a very loud
message that I cannot ignore. It is a message that so many of us that have
either lost someone to suicide or struggle with mental illness hear far too
much: “Stop talking, it makes people uncomfortable.” But, here’s the thing, I
can’t stop talking because suicide is preventable. If we raise awareness about
suicide and how to prevent it, if we open our ears and our hearts and listen to
those hurting without judgment, if we stop telling people that their struggle
doesn’t matter, we will stop losing lives to suicide.
That beautiful boy at the top of this post is my brother. Almost two years ago, I lost him to suicide. I’ve been told to stop talking about my
brother’s suicide. I’ve been told it makes people uncomfortable. I’ve been told
that my grief should be silent and for a bit, I listened. I stayed quiet. I
kept it to myself. Just like I’ve kept my battle with depression and anxiety
quiet my entire life. And then, I got sick. I was hospitalized. I saw my
children look at me with a worry in their eyes that I still cannot think about
without crying. In that moment, on the one year anniversary of my brother’s
suicide, I vowed to stop listening. I vowed to let my brother’s story, my
story, and the story of millions of people not lie dormant, blanketed by shame
and discomfort.
I understand why
the producer of Good Morning America said what he said, really I do. I
understand that ratings matter in their line of business. I get that suicide
makes people uncomfortable. I get that people don’t want suicide on their brain
first thing in the morning. I get that more than I can ever express because
every day, I wake up and I know it is another day without my brother. I know it
will be a day a family buries a loved one who took their own life. I wish with
everything that I could wake up without suicide on the brain. But I cannot. I
want to sit down with that producer and ask why they don’t consider rape,
murder, kidnapping, bombings, the list of atrocities that I see first thing in
the morning hard on my brain. A group
of people in blue shirts are far less disturbing than hearing about another
black man shot by police, another woman raped, another child dead in the woods.
Those stories make me uncomfortable.
This producer did
indeed reinforce societal shame around suicide, but they also did something
else. They reminded so many of us with #Suicideonthebrain why we still need to
talk. This incident ignited the flames of so many, and as fires do, I have
faith that this will grow. It will burn the fear of discomfort and pave new
growth for awareness. The path seems
bleak and dark, but as each person raise their voice, more light is shed on
suicide. Light always wins. Community, understanding, acceptance, and awareness
will push the darkness out.
For
those with #Suicideonthebrain, I beg of you, keep talking. Keep throwing those
matches in the growing flames. Keep adding light to the darkness.
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